Oct 24, 2013

When Blogging and Real Life Friends Clash

I feel like I'm at a crossroads.
My blog readers have become such important people in my life.  Some of you have become great friends.  Why? Because y'all are so supportive and get it.

We all blog for certain reasons.  Explaining to non-bloggers why I blog is difficult.  They just don't get it,understandably so.  When I first started this blog, I was anonymous.  Then I started to share the blog posts here and there on my Facebook.  Then I re-branded and changed my blog signature to my real name.  By this time, my blog was already being fed automatically to Facebook and Twitter.  As expected, I heard all of my friends opinions on my blog, both positive and negative.  I knew this would come up, but sometimes you think you are prepared but really are not.  I took a long break from my blog because I let other people's opinions become mine.  Then I snapped out of it and came back and missed every second of it.

And here we are, almost five years later and I have come to a point where I think I may take my blog off of my personal Facebook.  Because there are some things I want to talk about, but a part of me doesn't want my IRL (in real life) friends to know.  Not because it's a big hush hush secret, but more because I am not ready to hear their opinions on my life.  Let's face it, our IRL friends are a lot more judgemental than blog friends.  I am not saying it's a bad thing, it's just that us bloggers are more acclimated to not being judgemental and more understanding with people having their own way.  We read it everyday in our fave blogs.

To my friends who are reading this, this isn't me dismissing your opinion.  Just sometimes because you are so close to my life and know the ins and outs of it, you tend to project your opinion on how I need to do things. Not everything I do has to be your way.  And you don't understand blogging, so it's hard for you to realize why I share so much to "strangers".  But it doesn't mean you need to put down the idea of blogging just because it's not something for you.

So here I am, contemplating on what to do.  Do I cut ties with my personal Facebook and start writing what I want to share because let me tell you, some of the stuff is hilarious.  I wouldn't dare try to keep a giggle from you.

Yes I know that my friends can look up this blog, but a strong part of me tells me that won't happen.  It's easy now because it's a click away from Facebook.  But will they actually type in their address bar www.lifewithgiggles.com?  No, most likely not.

I never once thought that my blog would cause a clash with IRL friends, but recently it has.  Because of this, I have held back, worried about what my friends are going to say or think.  Yeah, I know I shouldn't care what they think, but when it's your IRL friends.... it's a whole other beast to handle than when another blogger tries to crash your party with negative comments.  I've learned to deal with those type of bloggers.  But I am still learning how to deal with those IRL friends.

Decisions to make.  It should be easy right?  Ugh, someone pass me some wine.


Anonymous said...

I wrestle with this all the time!

I have never really linked my blog to my personal FB or Twitter accounts but I have shared a few of my posts on my personal FB account and now I regret it.

I wish I had kept my blog anonymous so I could say what I really want to say when I really want to say it. Alas I didn't and I know at least one of my friends and one of my family members read daily and not because it's easy to access for them.

Le sigh.

Nikki said...

I personally do not share my blog with my personal FB because I have family on my FB that I do not what to know about my blog. My blog is a place for me to write what I want and I do not want family or friends to have a say in what I write. I find it easier not to share it. Good luck in making your decision

Britt said...

I totally get it. I've felt the same way about "going public" to the people in my life. It's been good and bad and also brought some randoms out of the woodwork. It's difficult because the blogging world is SO different compared to the real world. There are just some things only other bloggers get. Ultimately, it's always your choice of what to share but if your outlet is limited by others then it's time to make a change. I hope linking it off Facebook helps - have you thought about creating a FB fanpage and linking posts to that?

Ashley said...

On my former blog... a coworker found my blog via FB and tried to use it to get me fired (which didn't work, thankfully). I've just decided to censor myself and only blog things I don't mind everyone seeing.

Ashley said...

It does seem like quite a struggle. Ive only recently admitted to my fiance that I blog and 3/4ths of the time he's in the blog. I'm contemplating telling a few of my closest friends but I think everybody has to decide for themselves how "public" to make their blog with their IRL friends.

The Peanut Program said...

this is a hard decision to make- i would say just stop linking your posts to your personal FB... you are right in saying that it's easy for them to click on the post vs actually typing in your url in their web browsers.. some may but not all.

only two of my IRL friends know about my blog and i try to keep it that way.

Julie said...

I only have 3-4 real life friends who read my blog and I'm perfectly fine leaving it that way. I don't promote it via FB, Twitter, etc just because its a hassle and I don't want to have to deal with all that. Up to you but if it bothers you, remove it from FB etc and I'm sure it'll be fine.

Jen said...

I took the link to my blog off of my FB page and I refuse to make a FB page for my blog. For me the two should be separate. It has made life easier that way.

MarlaJan said...

I kept my blog a secret from my IRL friends for over a year. Not because I was ashamed, but I just didn't want to hear anyone's opinions. Then I just stopped caring.

I do have a FB page for my blog, but that's because I use my blog to try and bring awareness about lupus.

For me, I write what I want to write, and if anyone has something to say they can bite me. Yep, I'm the epitome of maturity. My blog is my outlet, and no one forces them to click on the link. And if they do, and then they have something to say... that's their problem.

LOL, sorry, I'm cranky tonight <3

Mary Long said...

I started blogging because I talk to much and thought it would help with getting out what was in my head. Inmyheadspace- get it? I know that only a few family members read it and rarely commented and non of my friends read it because blogs "weren't their thing". I used to get upset that the people closest to me didn't support it and most of all never commented! I know they hardly ever read it even now. Now I am ok with that. The only comments I get are from blogger friends and I like it that way. I don't share every post on FB - especially if I feel it's more opinionated or personal. I did learn that a cousin of my husbands reads though. I had no clue! Goes to show you never know who all is really following you. I say, if your IRL friends are making it difficult for you to be YOU, then keep it separate. No more drama. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

That is a tough decision. I think if you're even considering it, you should probably do it, remove it that is. If you're holding back because of IRL friends, that's not okay. Your blog should be everything you want it to be. If these same friends actually take the time to go to the URL on their own and read, that's different.

lil desiqua said...

I agree- I don't really want to share everything I put on my blog with my IRL friends- they really just don't "get" it! That's why I don't have anything linked. Well, from my blog you can find my IG and twitter, but not the other way around. And I don't share anything on FB, even status updates, because most of those people are those who knew me a long time ago- middle/high school, college- they aren't my "real" friends. I think you gotta do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, whether that's cutting the connection or not.

Let me know when you're ready for that wine!

Lindsey said...

UGH. I wrestle with this too and I kinda forgot about it for awhile. I kinda feel ready to take it off my FB now so I know exactly how you feel!

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

My blog was known by people in my life before I knew a blogger community existed. There has never been a question of me sharing with people I know.

Most of my problems are solved by me not giving a good crap what anyone thinks. I'm also helped by the fact that whether people I know are reading or not, I don't think some personal items belong on a blog.

Unknown said...

I know exactly what you mean, but I've decided to be more transparent about my blog with friends. What a hard decision!