Apr 30, 2013

Let's Talk About Having Babies

If you're new around these parts, you probably don't know that the hubs and I have been married for 4 1/2 years.  Our 5th wedding anniversary will be this November... holy crap time flies!

One thing that may separate us from other couples who have been married for 4 years is that we have yet decided to have kids.  That's right, going on 5 years of marriage and we still don't have kids.

There are so many people that gasp at this notion.  I feel like some people get so upset that we don't have kids yet.  I am 29 years old. Hubs is 30.  We just are enjoying our life now as a married couple and at this moment, kids don't fit in it.

Reasons we don't have kids yet:

  • We love to vacation.  I don't know why other couples barely take vacations, but we will sacrifice other luxuries to have a vacation.  Let's face it, vacations are made for relaxation and to de-stress.  Why you would rather spend money on a materialistic thing than put aside for a vacation is beyond me.  
  • We can dedicate more time to hanging out with friends and family now with no worries if it's kid friendly or not. 
  • We are NOT ready for those late night wake up calls.  I like my sleep and I will keep it that way for as long as I can.
  • We want to be solid as a couple before bringing another element into our life.  My belief is that if you are not solid before, then troubles will just get bigger when you add a child into the mix.  And that is not fair to the child. 
  • My pups is more than enough work as my child.  Trust me, I am not ready to add to that workload. 
  • We enjoy our life to the fullest as it is right now. 
Now, don't get me wrong... I would LOVE to be a mom.  I want to have kids.  But I just know that the timing is just not right now. 

Why is it so hard for people to NOT be judgmental when I tell them we don't have kids and have been married for 4 years?  

So my answer to the next person... "It's my life and I'll do with it what I want to, not what is expected to."


Unknown said...

u gotta dismiss what others think - when the times is right and you want to have kids - then you will - i know SO MANY people married for WAY more then 4 years and JUST had a child or haven't yet ..

Ms. Networking said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms. Networking said...

I am donating my ovaries to science, living a life filled with voracious sin and whoring it up till my boobies sag. And people are concerned about when you're reproducing. ;) <3 you all the time sis in crime!

(i hate posting things twice, but damnit, it won't let me click the box on the first submission!!!)

Ashley said...

You have to live your life. Have kids when your ready. No judgement here. :)

I plan to be childless forever... the balking I receive is horrendous! :(

Julann said...

First - Travel is awesome... Every penny I save is for going somewhere, not buying things. I don't get why people need a $500 purse, hell that is a trip!

Second - I was 31 when I had my first spawn. The last trip we took was three weeks traveling Europe. I am so glad we waited until we were ready.

Who cares what anyone thinks, do it on your time

Jen said...

You know how I feel about this...just wish people would mind their own business.

Shanny said...

That's it. I'm going to unfollow you for not having kids after 4 years of marriage. Wait, what? I had my own kids at 6.5 years of marriage? nevermind then, I'll keep following you :D

We LIVED it up! We vacationed like the parentless people we were and did what we wanted when we wanted to. It was FUN. With kids its still fun, but with a lot more caffeine and yawns lol

People used to ask me all the time when/why no kids, and I used to want to punch them all the time. They are lucky I didn't, actually. We got so much closer and we knew we had OUR moments as a couple before adding to the mix. Its ok to wait, do it. It's your and hubby's life ;)

Unknown said...

Thank you for posting this! My husband and I have been married almost 7 years, no babies. All the time we're asked why no kids?!?! I love them, want them some day but I love being a little selfish with my husband, time, money, etc!

Mary Long said...

I would get the opposite. "When are you going to give Allyson a baby bother or sister?" She's 18 and people have finally stopped asking! We had her at 20 yrs old. We had little money at the times when I would have had more kids but as the years went on and the bank accounts became a little more stable, I didn't want any more kids. We were finally getting more freedom back and we will be empty nesters this year (age 38!). WHY would I ever want to change that? I think I lost the mother urge around that childhood terrible 2-3 stage. She was SO BAD back then... LOL I do not regret this decision for a minute. Do what makes YOU happy as a couple. You are young- live it up!