Nov 28, 2012

Am I all alone?

This post is serious and might stir up some feathers (is that the saying? I am a drawing a total blank right now, but you get what I am trying to say).  

I want to hear YOUR thoughts on the following things. 
  • If you are a stay at home mom, what do you believe your responsibilities are in the home?
    • My thoughts are: Cook, Clean, Take care of kiddos, do the food shopping, etc.
  • What is the deal with people being so dam materialistic these days?!?!?!  Why would you spend $300 on a luxury brand shirt when you can guy the same one for $30????  If that was me, I would rather spend that money on vacations where I can spend some quality time with my family, or I would donate a lot of it to people who have nothing.  It drives me insane that people spend crazy amounts of money on clothing that they wear only once and after the season, it's forgotten about. IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY!!!! Be grateful that you have clothes to wear. 
  • Someone thought it was crazy that the hubs and I usually don't exchange gifts for holidays or special occasions.  ( Disclaimer: Last year we did for xmas.. but small presents and it was a fluke.  And I write this disclaimer because I know some asshat who is reading this is going to call me out on it.  Ha, I did it first).  They say that it is not right.  Um, since when does giving gifts make it right?  I'd rather us spend money on something we can do together than buying each other something   Hence why we go on a lot of vacations.  That's our thing. 
  • It kills me when people ask me over and over again about us having kids.  And you are RUDE to ask me why we haven't had kids yet.  Did you ever think that there could be another reason for a couple not having kids.  Did you ever think that they may be trying and are having trouble? Or maybe that they are happy with things being the way they are as is? Did you ever think that there may be a medical reason why a couple doesn't have kids yet and it is something they don't want to share?  Maybe they don't want kids?  It's OK if you ask the couple once, but after a while the same people asking the same question gets to take a toll on you.  Sometimes, I don't want to answer you because it's exhausting to stand there and see you judge me on my answer.  Just because you have kids at a certain age doesn't mean I am following your same path. Just shut it OK?  
  • I have come to a point in my life where I hardly want to share anything with my friends because I constantly feel like I am being judged.  We all do it, I get it.  I judge sometimes too. It's OK.  But is it crazy that when certain events happen in my life, I already know who I would want to share the news with first and that the list is very small?  
  • I am not a perfect wife. Are you?  I make mistakes all the time. I drive the hubs crazy.  I have made big time mistakes and TRUST ME, I still have the guilt for it.  But I am learning to push through and move on. No one said it was going to be easy to be a wife.  Society makes it even harder to be a wife because they plaster everywhere of what a perfect wife should be... and it's totally NOTHING like it. So, thank you to the hubs... You accept me for who I am, and you have made the decision to be with me and support me through both the good and bad.  I am really trying to make you proud and I know I have failed multiple times, but I continue to get back and try again. I won't stop. Love you.
  • I blog because it makes me happy.  Why is it so hard for non-bloggers to see that?
  • I think that you should never ever make a friend feel left out.  It hurts... and it hurts bad. 
  • I struggle with self confidence everyday.  It's like a freaking disease. Yes, I know I gained weight... TRUST ME I KNOW... but you don't need to remind me.  Yes, I know that I mess things up.  Yes, I know that I lack common sense.  All these things add up to the ball of anxiety that it's in my head. I KNOW... "just handle it Kenya it's not that hard."  Remember, it may be easier to handle certain stuff in your life than it is for me.  
  • My heart took a stabbing last week when I was at my docs visit.  My doctor tried to make me feel better and assure me that the test results will most likely come back OK this time.  She tried really hard, but I can tell in her voice that she also was worried.  I tried to stay positive and tell her, " I am positive too"... but I lied. I was freaking out the whole hour and half I was in that office.  And I am still freaking out waiting for results.  But it's OK to freak out right?  It's normal right?  And this whole doctor stuff could be NOTHING.  If the test results come back not favorable, it's not like it's life threatening disease.  Something that they tell me is very common and somewhat "fixable".  But still, I am worried.
  • Did I tell you that I freak out A LOT about the LITTLE things? I do. Hubs is a saint for dealing with that part of me.  Sometimes, I make things a lot bigger and more serious than they really are. It's a problem I have. I am working on it.  Some people call this anxiety.  I don't like that word, anxiety.
Wow, I wasn't sure where this post was going to go... but I started typing and couldn't stop.  And I am leaving this as it is. No changes.  Me in writing.  Sometimes Life with Giggles has it's downs.  And my focus for my blog is to be true to you all... It's not all skittles and rainbows over here.  Sometimes I have to make myself giggle when I am having a down day. 

But, am I all alone with some of these points?  Do any of you feel like this sometimes today? 
I am OK. I am not OK. What is the definition of being OK?  Oh forget it, I am me.  Let's leave it at that. 
And now I am going to read from my devotional and tell myself "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."


Ms. Networking said...

look, life isn't meant to be easy, it's not meant to be handled in a cookie cutter way. People will always feel that their opinions matter in other people's lives and I know first hand how destructive that is, which is why I hate to do it.
But regardless, you're alone (everyone is), but your problems aren't yours only. Others worry about the same things that you do, and people like myself tend to internalize them. But don't feel like you don't have support systems, you sure do and you have it in the hubster as well as myself. And if you think I judge..fear not, I usually forget what people tell me as soon as we're done conversing. :D

xoxoxoxoxo <3 you boo!

Julie said...

Oh boy oh boy do I agree with just about everything you wrote about. One of my good friends is a daily reader of my blog and if I were to post something like that, she would stir the pot but I have been wanting to say something like this for a long long time. I did kinda with a post I did about Miranda Lambert and I totally expected her to say something but she didn't. I wish I could like this like Facebook!

Britt said...

Sorry you are feeling so down! This post must have felt so much better though to just get out. I think it is SO rude too when people cannot get off married couples backs about a pregnancy. You hit the nail on the head - you have no idea what someone may be going through. As for friends? You go through periods every few years where your list of friends gets purged. People change and not always for the better. It sucks, but it happens. Only you can say when you've had enough of them.

As for your test results...thinking good thoughts and sending them your way. Waiting is the worst part :(

Jen said...

Oh yes!!! I agree with you on everything!!! I'm a housewife and I take care of everything in the home. He works I stay home I should at least do something. AS far as the kid thing yes I get sick of being asked when especially since we are having trouble. Hugs friend!!

Julann said...

I love this post on some many reasons. 1 - Your right it is not right to leave people out. It hurts! 2 - We are human, we make mistakes, even as wifes. 3 - I would never have gotten married or be going through the hell I am if I was never pushed to be married, same with kids. People need to butt out!

I can go on and on, but these are my highlights! You go girl!

Nikki said...

Effff people. Dont let others opinions get to you. You live your life your way just like the title of my blog "My Life My Way." You have not answer to no one. Well maybe to hubs but even at that thats debatable in a whole other post! I like the idea of not exchanging presents and just vacationing the shit outta life! Im all there with you on that one! As far as guys have Sadie screw the rest of them! I best be one of the ones you share your life with and I will leave it at that. Hope everything is ok with the Dr!

Love you!


Shanny said...

I'm behind you on every single point you made! The hubby and I usually don't buy each other xmas presents either for the same reasons, we are cool with it and we don't have the need for it. When we want something we get it period.
People asking about when you are going to have kids, believe me I've been there for years and its hard and only once did I tell someone off.. and that's when I was pregnant already with these two but this woman would ask every single time we would see her so she had it coming, my answer usually would be when God decides and walk away. But it hurst, I know.
I hope your test results are ok, I have been avoiding going to check on my health as well and believe me I have to do an MRI for like 2 years now and haven't done it. I get it. crossing fingers for you.

Confessions of a Northern Belle said...

I think sometimes reading other's blogs just puts me In a bad mood - so I often take long breaks from my google
Reader and stick to twitter and Instagram. There is something extremely irritating about someone with a "perfect" life. I commend you for bein real. I've been trying to be real since I let the world know that last year I was mess. You should've linked up w confessions today bc this was filled with them! You go girl! Don't let others opinions bring you down! said...

I do think that it is rude to ask people about why they aren't having kids. Especially if you aren't really close to that person. Even more so if you start of the conversation with an assumption that not popping out kids the moment one is married is odd.

It is equally as rude to make comments toward a woman with a large family when she either says that she wants more or announces a pregnancy. Not your home, so it is not your problem.

Good luck with the Dr. situation. Oh, I found your blog through the Wednesday Walkabout.

Anonymous said...

I am a firm believer in not "judging a book by its cover." If I don't know the whole story, I don't say a word! I found you through the blog hop and am your newest follower. I was kinda maybe hopin' that you'd follow me back ;-) !


Madison said...

You are NOT alone in these things.

I've been with my husband for 7 and a half years. We were engaged for 2 years(now married for over 3), and whenever people found out I was getting married or that I'm still young and married, they always asked if we had kids, if we were going to have them right away, how many we'd have... And then seem SHOCKED when I told them that no, we don't have any, don't want any right now, and probably wont have any for x years. And then it was always "why?" ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS SERIOUSLY! It still drives me crazy when I get asked that. We just weren't ready for a family, but in a year or so we probably will be. I don't mind if people ask if I have children when we're getting to know each other. That's an honest, legitimate question. But if the answer is "no" then just take it at face value! And you know my husband is never asked these questions? Ugh, gender roles!

And I hope everything works out okay with the medical issues. I've been pretty healthy, but my husband recently had some testing done this summer. At first we were expecting some pretty bad results but they turned out to be fine, nothing life threatening and totally manageable even though it's not completely ideal. So I'll keep you in my thoughts!

We all have bad days. It's entirely normal, and I'd be more worried if someone NEVER had one, you know? But I do hope that writing all this out got some weight off your chest and helped you release all the pent up frustrations and worries you had. Writing always helps me immensely, even if I just end up deleting it afterward. *hugs*