You would think that by now I would have expected this, but I don't. I still can't believe that I have a 6 month old. Crazy.
For most mamas, celebrating every month is a joyous thing. But unfortunately for me, it brings up the days leading up to Sophia's birth. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but those feelings will never go away.
This time six months ago I was laying on my side on a hospital bed struggling through contractions from my induction along with battling my blood pressure that was shooting up to the 200s. I laid there in pain and fear because I had no idea what was going to happen. I had no idea how giving birth at 33 weeks was going to affect my baby. I had no idea what would happen if at any given moment, I was going to seizure because of the preecamplasia. I had no idea if baby and/or I would make it due to how severe my preecamplasia was. That's a thought that no mother should go ever think of when in labor. But it was a thought I was forced to think about... over and over and over again.
Such thoughts haunt me now. There doesn't go a day without me thinking back to what happened to me six months ago. I was scared. I was angry. I was sad. I kept saying to myself "Why me?" There are so many times in life that we ask ourselves that question.
Six months ago was the best and scariest day of my life. But God has blessed us with a beautiful baby girl that as of now, is 100% healthy. I can't ask for more than that.
Happy six months to my daughter who truly has kept me going.... I promise to be the best mama I can be for you.