Oct 27, 2014

New mama status ain't stopping me!

Hey guys.  I hope you all had a good past week and weekend.  I tried to thoroughly enjoy every moment of it, despite when Sophia was so cranky and fussy that I wanted to pull all of my hair out and then eat it... yeah, that bad.  But they say that's what comes when you decided to raise a human.  So there we go.  Plus, hubs and I tried to go back to hospital and asked to return Sophia, no dice.  So we had to continue to learn this whole parenting thing and go on with our week.

Some snapshots of what hasn't stopped us as being new parents...

Football Sunday still exists and can I tell you how much I love NFL Redzone.... best way to watch all the Sunday games.

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We have showed Sophia how to take selfies.

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We go out and enjoy the fall weather.

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Fall means pumpkins galore which means time for me to make pumpkin pies from scratch, like legit scratch with a real pumpkin!

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I still take selfies with Sadie.  Don't hate.

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We go away for the weekend to the Poconos in PA to stay with my brother.

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I actually cook more at home with a baby than before. Go figure.

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A photo posted by Kenya (@kenyagiggles) on


A photo posted by Kenya (@kenyagiggles) on


A photo posted by Kenya (@kenyagiggles) on


And my love for The Rock hasn't changed one bit. I already told Sophia that he's my boyfriend. Hopefully one day we will get to meet him in person. Hey The Rock, if you're reading this, because why wouldn't you be, would love to meet you so I can literally touch you and probably faint or go into shock. SMOOCHES.

A photo posted by Kenya (@kenyagiggles) on


A photo posted by Kenya (@kenyagiggles) on


And going out with a baby is insane.  The amount of crap we have to drag with us is daunting.  I literally have an anxiety attack every time we leave to go somewhere.  All the baby things... ugh.

Oct 20, 2014

Oh hey, it's me, the new mama!

Wow, I can't believe it took me over a month to put up a post. WHO AM I. Oh that's right, I'm a new mom to a preemie.  Guys, this whole being a new mom is no joke.  This shit is hard.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  God decided that I can handle it so as long as we both make it out alive by the end of the day, then it's a win in my book.  And then it's repeat after that.

I really wanted to write, to vent my frustrations and worries about being a new mom, especially one to a preemie but I was afraid.  Yep, I was afraid.  This whole time I have been legit freaking out at home.  I still can't believe that I have gone through what we have been dealt with Sophia was born.  I haven't really had time to let everything sink in and grasp it.  She was born early and then was in NICU for a month.... there was no time for stuff to sink in because I had to worry about other stuff that I NEEDED to do to get through the day.  I pushed all of it in the back file.  But here I am, afraid to write a blog post because I know I have to be reminded of those hard dark days.  The whole time Sophia was in the NICU is a complete blur.  All I remember doing is pumping every day and going to the NICU with a cooler bag filled with milk and praying that I would be able to hold Sophia for at least an hour.  I did that everyday.  I didn't think, I just did.  Then she came home and I had to figure out how to be a mom, to a preemie at that.  A lot of moms don't realize that everything you do for a preemie is COMPLETELY different than what you do for a full term baby.  Unfortunately, if you didn't have a preemie, you can't relate to about 75% of the stuff that I am currently going through.  You don't have to think about corrected age vs actual age, You don't have to think about spacing out vaccinations because your baby doesn't have enough thigh muscle to handle 3 shots at once.  You don't have to worry about the simple cold that may get your baby sick which means an express line to a stay at the NICU.  You don't have to worry about what developmental issues may arise as time goes by.  You don't have to worry about 50 million other things preemie moms have to worry about.  It's a lot guys, like a shit ton of stuff to worry about that is completely overwhelming.  But here I am, one of the lucky ones... the mom that so far has a preemie that is doing very well and shows no signs of developmental problems.  So then I kick myself in the ass because I had to pass other preemie babies every day in the NICU for a month that were far worse than Sophia.  So who am I to complain?  I have a healthy baby that is home with me and doing well, I shouldn't be complaining. But here I am... complaining.

I won't lie.  Life has been hard since giving birth.  I have struggled every day to keep my composure and just leave what happened in the past and enjoy the present moment.  To this day I am still trying to figure out how to balance my life. But somehow someway I will figure it out.  But one thing for sure is that I am going to resume blogging again because I realize that there are people out there who understand and I can use all the encouragement and support I can get and I also want to give back and be here for anyone who needs to just chat to someone who gets it. I get it.

Not afraid of Storms, Sailing Ship

It feels good to be back.
Hope you all stay with me on my sailing journey.