Dec 5, 2014

I'm that new mom at work

I went back to work this week and so far it has been going good.  Everything seems to have come back easily work wise and I am slowly getting back into the groove of things.

But I have been getting this question from a lot of people who have welcomed me back:
"How are you doing being back at work away from the baby?"

I think the typical answer especially for new moms would be that it's an adjustment and hard to leave the baby. But my answer has been quite the opposite.  I'm all like "It's great! Not worried at all and it wasn't hard for me to leave her."

I am sure that some people may think it was a bit "heartless" but as I sat here yesterday after talking about it with someone, I kept thinking to myself why am I so OK with it and why I didn't feel any anxiety about it all. Then it hit me.  I'm a preemie mom.  When Sophia and I were at our most vulnerable, we had to be separated.  For 27 days I had to leave her in a hospital.  27 days.  I had to leave her at the most crucial time, the very beginning of bonding.  During that time, every time I left her I wasn't sure what the next day was going to bring.  If we were going to be presented with any new challenges.  Hands down the hardest thing to do was to leave my baby girl everyday.  So I think now that I am back at work, leaving her doesn't affect me as it does to other moms because it was a norm for me before.  This time, I leave her with my mother in law and I know that when I come home, I get to hug her and play with her vs seeing her in an incubator with wires and tubes.  I was forced to be OK with the separation anxiety.  So now, it's not separation anxiety for me.  It's just me going to work and Sophia spending quality time with her grandmother.  For that I am grateful.

For my mamas, how was the adjustment period for you when you started working again?


Jen said...

I can only imagine how hard it must be to leave her, but I think it's good for both of you. :) Hugs!

Bryna said...

It's different for every mom... For me, I cried. For about a week. But you are right. You definitely had the harder separation in the beginning.

Nikki said...

Good for you! It is definitely different for every mom depending on their situation. The first week back for me was not the easiest and I left #babybigtruck home with her Daddy. I think with what you went through has a lot to do with how you dealt going back to work. Glad it was a smooth transition!

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