Aug 6, 2013

"Those" People at Your Job

Since I am new at this job place I got to thinking that it seems that every place you ever work in has the "same" type of people.  How about we take a closer look:

The Gossip Queen
This person has such sensitive hearing she can hear Gossip three floors down.  She is the first one who jumps out of her seat and is spreading the news around to her gossiper friends.  She will always say she won't tell anyone, but don't fall for it.  While talking to you she has probably already secretly texted the info to another gossiper friend who is gathering everyone in the lunchroom to talk about the secret.

The Slacker
This jerk doesn't do shit and gets paid more to not do shit while you take of his shit and your own shit.  He comes in late and always happens to leave early.  He takes a gazillion vacations and is always too busy to help you with something.

The Chit Chatter
This person has told you the same story about his cat who passed away when he was five because the cat got in a fight with a raccoon.  He talks and talks and talks as if he isn't there to do a job because clearly we all have two hours to kill during the workday.

The Douche
The douche is just that.  The biggest turd ever who thinks he is Donald Trump.  Enough said.

The Old Timer
The guy who has been at the job for 37 years and refuses to use Microsoft Word to create a document.  He insists on using a typewriter and has no idea what Google is.

The Stalker
The guy who makes a plan every day to be at every corner you turn.  He has your schedule down pack that he knows when you are going to get coffee, take lunch and even take a bathroom break.  He is always conveniently in your path and just has to stop and say hi.

The Brown Noser
The one who makes the rest of us look bad because she knows everything and does everything perfect every time.  You just want to punch her in the face.

The Mister Inappropriate
The guy who stares at your boobs when you talk.  He also makes the most inappropriate jokes that are part of the sexual harassment policy but clearly he hasn't read it.

Would you like to add any more types?  Who do you hate the most?


Vicki said...

HAHAHAHA - Yessssss. They exist everywhere :(

KT said...

Haha this is good!

Nikki said...


Mary Long said...

I have one co-worker who personifies 1,2 & 3
... painful...

Ashley said...

The Grumper... The Negative Nancy... I could add quite a few! LOL.

lil desiqua said...

Haha, so true!! I would like to add Miss Too-Busy-For-You: Always acts like she is soooo busy, can't even respond to emails, and whines about it constantly, but is always texting her bf on her cell phone and/or surfing the net- another version of The Slacker!

Anonymous said...

I love this list! I agree about the Negative Nancy. There's also the Loud Laugher/Talker. We have this girl who seriously talks loud enough for everyone to hear, about anything. Umm, inside voice?

Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky said...

oh, i LOVE work rants because it's all i've been doing lately. i work with a lot of slackers and douches and it makes me crazy!

Vodka and Soda

Jen said...

Oh gosh I have worked with every person on this list at one point or another! Oh how I miss workplace antics. lol.