Apr 30, 2013

Let's Talk About Having Babies

If you're new around these parts, you probably don't know that the hubs and I have been married for 4 1/2 years.  Our 5th wedding anniversary will be this November... holy crap time flies!

One thing that may separate us from other couples who have been married for 4 years is that we have yet decided to have kids.  That's right, going on 5 years of marriage and we still don't have kids.

There are so many people that gasp at this notion.  I feel like some people get so upset that we don't have kids yet.  I am 29 years old. Hubs is 30.  We just are enjoying our life now as a married couple and at this moment, kids don't fit in it.

Reasons we don't have kids yet:

  • We love to vacation.  I don't know why other couples barely take vacations, but we will sacrifice other luxuries to have a vacation.  Let's face it, vacations are made for relaxation and to de-stress.  Why you would rather spend money on a materialistic thing than put aside for a vacation is beyond me.  
  • We can dedicate more time to hanging out with friends and family now with no worries if it's kid friendly or not. 
  • We are NOT ready for those late night wake up calls.  I like my sleep and I will keep it that way for as long as I can.
  • We want to be solid as a couple before bringing another element into our life.  My belief is that if you are not solid before, then troubles will just get bigger when you add a child into the mix.  And that is not fair to the child. 
  • My pups is more than enough work as my child.  Trust me, I am not ready to add to that workload. 
  • We enjoy our life to the fullest as it is right now. 
Now, don't get me wrong... I would LOVE to be a mom.  I want to have kids.  But I just know that the timing is just not right now. 

Why is it so hard for people to NOT be judgmental when I tell them we don't have kids and have been married for 4 years?  

So my answer to the next person... "It's my life and I'll do with it what I want to, not what is expected to."


9 comments:

Erika @ ~TiptoeButterfly~ said...

u gotta dismiss what others think - when the times is right and you want to have kids - then you will - i know SO MANY people married for WAY more then 4 years and JUST had a child or haven't yet ..

Ms. Networking said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms. Networking said...

I am donating my ovaries to science, living a life filled with voracious sin and whoring it up till my boobies sag. And people are concerned about when you're reproducing. ;) <3 you all the time sis in crime!

(i hate posting things twice, but damnit, it won't let me click the box on the first submission!!!)

Ashley from The Kitchen-Sink Chronicles said...

You have to live your life. Have kids when your ready. No judgement here. :)

I plan to be childless forever... the balking I receive is horrendous! :(

My Moms a Whack Job said...

First - Travel is awesome... Every penny I save is for going somewhere, not buying things. I don't get why people need a $500 purse, hell that is a trip!

Second - I was 31 when I had my first spawn. The last trip we took was three weeks traveling Europe. I am so glad we waited until we were ready.

Who cares what anyone thinks, do it on your time

Jen said...

You know how I feel about this...just wish people would mind their own business.

Shanny said...

That's it. I'm going to unfollow you for not having kids after 4 years of marriage. Wait, what? I had my own kids at 6.5 years of marriage? nevermind then, I'll keep following you :D

We LIVED it up! We vacationed like the parentless people we were and did what we wanted when we wanted to. It was FUN. With kids its still fun, but with a lot more caffeine and yawns lol

People used to ask me all the time when/why no kids, and I used to want to punch them all the time. They are lucky I didn't, actually. We got so much closer and we knew we had OUR moments as a couple before adding to the mix. Its ok to wait, do it. It's your and hubby's life ;)

Ruby A said...

Thank you for posting this! My husband and I have been married almost 7 years, no babies. All the time we're asked why no kids?!?! I love them, want them some day but I love being a little selfish with my husband, time, money, etc!

Mary Long said...

I would get the opposite. "When are you going to give Allyson a baby bother or sister?" She's 18 and people have finally stopped asking! We had her at 20 yrs old. We had little money at the times when I would have had more kids but as the years went on and the bank accounts became a little more stable, I didn't want any more kids. We were finally getting more freedom back and we will be empty nesters this year (age 38!). WHY would I ever want to change that? I think I lost the mother urge around that childhood terrible 2-3 stage. She was SO BAD back then... LOL I do not regret this decision for a minute. Do what makes YOU happy as a couple. You are young- live it up!