May 9, 2012

Decisions.... I have made them.

Y'all... these past few weeks have been a tough one on me.  I have been keeping some information in my head for awhile letting it stew.  I was so afraid that the decision I made was going to be the wrong one. How do you know which decision is right?  Especially when you make one decision is forcing you to make another decision that you KNOW is right, but will break your heart to make?  Have I confused you yet?

I am not perfect. I curse, I judge, I criticize, I laugh, I cry, I get depressed, I care what other people think, I make people laugh..... I am every emotion balled up into one.  I do things that aren't right.  But, despite doing all the right AND wrong things, I am religious.  Not like fanatic religious, but I believe in God.  I have been going to the same church since I was 13 years old.  I love my church and the people in my church.  They have seen me grown up, go to college, spend a semester abroad down to getting married.  Only one thing, my church is small, like 15 people small.  And out of those 15 people, I am the only one who is not over the age of 55.  No joke. I have come to realize that I go to church, not because I WANT to go, but because I have responsibilities, such as being a Sunday School teacher and singing in the choir.  This has made church mundane for me.  I am not motivated.  The sermons are OK.  The organ plays the same hymns.  I don't go there to rejoice in God, but as more of  a job.  That is not cool with me.  But the timing seems to be perfect.

Tonight, I went to a new church around the corner from my house.  IT. WAS. AMAZING.  There was a band that played wonderful music, the preacher was so down to earth he reminded me of my best friend's cool dad. Seriously, he explained the bible verses in the form of 2012, not 1920.  I felt excited, I LISTENED to the whole sermon and wasn't thinking about my plans this weekend.

Today is the day that I needed to finalize the decision I have been contemplating over for the last few weeks.  I am going to change the church I go to.  Now, this is the hardest because people I love won't understand. They will JUDGE and be mad that I am leaving the church.  They will want me to stay for the wrong reasons.  But I have to be strong and know that He knows what he is doing.  My Sunday school boys do their confirmation next month. After them, there are no other children that will be coming to my teaching level.  I have done my deed.  Now it is time for me to revive MYSELF and move on.

It will hurt to leave my current church, but I pray that in the end, it is the best decision for me.

On that note, hope you all have a good night.  I will be back tomorrow with some crazy shenanigans as always.
I may be a church girl, but I still have my fun. :)

OH and when I blog, i write everything down as I would say it aloud.  I have always done this.  That "y'all" was what I totally said in my mind, but I am NOT, I repeat NOT from the South or ever was. I grew up in Jersey.  But for some reason, there are certain things that people tell me I say with a southern accent.  That is one of them. It's like second nature to me.  I just say that I was a southern belle in my past life.

~*~Mrs. Newlywed Giggles~*~

1 comment:

Mrs. Monologues said...

It sounds like a tough decision, but one you have made with a lot of thought, people may be mad, but I think you are doing the best thing for you and your spiritual journey.