May 17, 2010

I'm not rude. I just enjoyed my wedding!!!!!!

So, I was out and about when we were talking about weddings.  Somebody we know is getting married and the MOB (Mother of the Bride) stated that the Bride told her that she refuses to go by every table and say hello.  At that instant, I jumped in and said "yeah, we didn't do that either because it takes forever and people should know you are really thankful for being there."  Right after I said that, the MOB says "Well, I think it's really rude to not say hi to the table.  That is disrespectful.  These people made arrangements to come to your wedding and the least she (bride) can do is spend 5 minutes at each table saying thank you.  We are going to have about 13 tables so it will only be about an hour of their time." 
Now, I have this shocked face, but then again, I did what I wanted at my wedding.  But she pretty much told me to my face that I was rude for not saying to all 175 guests of mine.  Then she tops it off with this statement: "If she doesn't say hi, I'll just go around to people and tell them to get in your car and go home since the bride and groom didn't thank you."  
Seriously?  THIS really got to me.  First of all, you're paying for the wedding so I'm sure you don't want these people leaving.  Secondly, maybe your daughter and son-in-law would like to fully enjoy their wedding considering that an hour is a lot when you have a 4 hour reception where the first two hours are pretty booked with first dance, speech, and dinner.  
Now, I will give you my reasoning why I chose not to go around to every single table and say "thank you." 

  • I know that everyone who was invited to my wedding knows  how THANKFUL I am for them to be there.  I shouldn't have to tell them again.
  • We chose to be included in our cocktail hour and not secluded is some bridal suite so that gave us the time to be social with our guests and say hi then.  It was great and we enjoyed being part of it.  Some people were saying "you're ruining your grand entrace!"  Want to know what I said to them?  "We already had our grand entrance at our church ceremony.  You should have been there to witness it."  (I think it's rude when you don't go to the ceremony and just show up at the reception, but that's my belief)
  • We paid for our wedding so I made sure that I was going to enjoy every minute of it.  I was told so many stories of how it flies by and make sure you pack extra food because you won't eat, blah blah blah. Well guess what?  I said hi to most of my guest during cocktail hour; I ate ALL of my dinner and also stole some food off the hubs plate; I danced ALL NIGHT LONG and I also ate TWO pieces of cake.  It can be done people.  It's called enjoying your wedding day.
  • I had 175 guests at my wedding which amounted to about 15 tables.  If I went around and said hi to everyone it would have taken more than an hour because you can't just say "hi".  People want to ask you questions, take pictures with you, and next you know, there's an hour left.  I knew there was a huge possibility of this happening so that's why we opted to not do that.  
  • It's called the bride and groom speech.  You know, when the MOH and BM are done with their speech, usually the bride and groom will say something.  That's the perfect time to thank everyone and let all of your guests know how special it is to have them there with you on your special day.  I don't see anything wrong with this kind of thank you. 

So, what are your opinions on this subject?
Did you go around to each table and say "thank you"?
Did you have a little speech instead directed to everyone?
Am I being too pushy with me being upset that she said it was RUDE when bride and grooms choose to 
have fun at their wedding for the full time not go around each table and say hi? 


Pollyanna said...

I don't think it is necessary to stop at every table to say, "Thank you." But I do think everyone deserves a little face time - whether it is during cocktails, dancing or at a table.

We did the grand entrance thing because the wedding was at five, then pictures and the reception was at seven so there wasn't time for us to enjoy the pre-reception cocktails. I did make sure I stopped by the tables with my parents' friends because I knew they would stay for dinner and a song or two, but would leave earlier than my friends. Between the wedding, dinner, dancing, cake and what not, I felt I got to talk to all 200-ish of my wedding guests for a bit.

Unknown said...

I don't think you're being pushy at all! Those table visits can really add up, they're rarely just a quick hello! Our wedding was at an out-of-town cottage resort, so we had plenty of visiting time the night before and day after.

And while we did stop at each table with our photographer for a quick table-photo, we didn't stop to chat... after dinner I spent the entire night on the dance floor, and if they weren't dancing with me our guests were happy to catch-up with family members and old friends!

I do think it's important for a bride & groom to make some effort at face time with their guests, but that can be at any point over the course of the event. To each their own I say!

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin said...

We split up the duty. He went to his tables...I went to mine. I may or may not have missed a few due to bubbly consumption. HA!

Marie. said...

I don't think it's rude if you don't go to each table. Yes people made arrangements but everyone knows its YOUR day, not theirs. You're not obligated to go to every table. I know some people do to take pictures and all, but seriously... you don't NEED to. Esp if you DO have a bridge/groom speech.